


I'm Struggling

by DreamingisBelieving



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Come What May, Depressed Blaine, Depressing, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Self Harm, Suicide, attempted suicide, mentions of depression, mentions of self harm, not fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 02:19:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9798158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingisBelieving/pseuds/DreamingisBelieving
Summary: MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, MENTIONS OF DEPRESSIONKurt forgets his wallet at Blaine's house and he was not ready for the sight that greeted him when he goes to pick it up.





	

**Author's Note:**

> READ THE TAGS FIRST PLEASE AND THE WARNINGS PLEASE, BEFORE READING!  
> Okay, this one is dark, and I know that, but please, if you're struggling, reach out and get help, because no matter what, you are worth it.   
> Please enjoy.

"I'll see you later then?" Kurt asks wrapping his scarf around his neck and tucking it in his black peacock coat.

  
"Yeah," Blaine replies, his hands in his pockets and a small smile on his face.

 

"Tomorrow? Lima Bean?" Kurt offers, grabbing his phone and putting it in his pocket.

  
"Uh," He pauses to look at the floor before replying with a nod, "Yeah,"

  
"Babe, are you alright?" Kurt asks taking Blaine's hands in his, concern in his voice and eyes, His ocean blue ones meet his hazel ones. Another pause, before yet another nod,  
"Yeah, I love you, and I'll see you soon," Blaine says with a kiss to his lips and a tight hug. Kurt sighs heavily but nods, trusting his boyfriend and placing another kiss on his lips.

  
"I love you too,"

  
With that Kurt turned around and left the foyer of the Anderson home. Blaine watched him through the window, his slim figure walk down the steps and get into his car, before pulling out a few moments later. Tears were already forming in Blaine's eyes. He shut the curtain and took a sigh of relief.

  
He was going to do this.

  
Whether it was his parents who were never around and when they were they weren't there for him, ignoring him or putting him down, Finn constantly getting on him for nothing, making him feel worthless, the stress from school and the teacher telling him he needs to know what he doing with his life, or the stress of Regionals, and everyone there besides, Kurt and Sam, making him feel like he didn't belong there, or maybe it was the feeling of hopelessness and will to get up in the morning, but Blaine Anderson was going to kill himself.

  
He made his way slowly into the kitchen, taking his time getting a drink of water and staring out the backyard that he had many memories of his older brother, shoving his face in the dirt or memories of his cousins tripping him when they would play tag, and laughing when he fell. A small smile of relief greeted his lips.   
Glass still in hand he made his way slowly to the living room, looking at all the photos from when he was a kid, pictures of his brother, and extended family, but few of him and his parents. Ones from when they went to the beach when Blaine was seven and another when the went camping when he was ten. After the age of ten, they never really went on any more vacations. His parents traveled a lot for work, but separately, his mother, Pam, would come home a little drunk, making Cooper and Blaine believe she never really went for work.

  
His father would come home with a confident smile on his face and Cooper would tell Blaine that he had gotten laid. At the time and age of ten he didn't know what that meant but by the age of twelve, he saw it and knew what it meant.

  
Blaine switches off the lamp beside the dark leather couch and took one step of a time up the wooden stairs, admiring the layout of the house from each step and staring at the pictures decorating the walls.

  
Most were of Cooper, and from when he graduated and when he got his driver's license and did all of these amazing things. Blaine shakes his head at the framed memories and enters his bedroom.

  
He checks his phone for messages and see none, so he switches off it's ringer, not wanting and distractions. He plugs his iPod into the loud speaker and turns it to a song that happened to be "Come What May". The former warbler sits at his dark oak desk and grabs the typed out paper that was sitting in his top drawer and rests it on the top of the desk, switching the lamp on.

  
He flips through the few pages to make sure it was all there and noticed a small wet spot on the bottom left hand corner.

  
He was crying.

  
"Shit," He whispers, wiping away his tears and at his wet eyes. He stands back up, taking in the sight of his bedroom for the what would be the last time. He switches the bedroom light off, but leaves the desk lamp on, hoping his parents would find it first, before they found him.

  
His parents were out of town, like usual, but would return, tomorrow afternoon, before his scheduled coffee with Kurt. They usually made plans for six or seven, Kurt would know by then.

  
He didn't care if his parents would find him or if Cooper would or anyone would, but Blaine didn't want Kurt to find him, the way time worked out, he wouldn't, and it would be okay.

  
He didn't want to do this to Kurt, but he couldn't go on like this anymore. What was the point in living if your own parents, brother and family didn't love you or accept you, or friends for that matter, the only one that cared was Kurt, and he would be leaving soon anyways, and Blaine would be left alone in Lima Ohio, with no one.

  
"Winter to Spring, but I love you," Blaine sings softly, sniffling, but a small smile playing on his lips. He takes a deep breath and moves to the ensuite bathroom, switching on the fluorescent, light.

  
He opens the bottom right hand drawer below the sink and takes out a small box cutter. Blaine takes a deep breath, and slides the box cutter up, exposing the long, silver blade.

  
"Sing out this song and I'll be there, by your side," Blaine sings quietly, tears slipping down his olive cheeks. Blaine sinks down beside the oak cabinets. "Be smart about this Blaine," Blaine whispers to himself, the box cutter hovering over his right wrist. He takes another deep breath before pressing down, hard against his olive skin. With a groan he makes a long cut across his lower wrist. The skin automatically opened and revealed dark red, thick blood, and tissue. He could feel his veins snapping and the pain shooting through not just his wrists but through his entire body. It moved up his arm and into shoulders, spreading up his neck and down his chest.   
A small, weak small grows on his face.

  
He takes the box cutter in his other hand making another deep gash in his left wrist, the same feeling spreads throughout his body, making him feel, relief.

  
He drops the blade down against the tile. He looks down at the blood spouting from his wrists, tears pour down his cheeks. Blaine leans his head against the counter top, letting tears fall down his face and onto his dark blue polo shirt. His hands are resting against the white tile.

  
His eyelids grow heavier and heavier with each blink. He was dying, he could feel it.

  
_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place_

"Kurt! Can you come here a sec?" Burt calls from the kitchen,

  
"Yeah," Kurt replies, he slips his phone in his pocket, noticing Blaine didn't reply to his text, before making his way down the stairs and into the kitchen.

  
"Do you still have that guy's number that was looking for a job a few days ago?" Burt asks, sipping from his cup of coffee.

  
He remembers that tall, thin man who had come in the garage, and met with Kurt. He said he needed a job and left his number with Kurt, after Burt said he would call him later in the week.

  
"Why?" Kurt asks, leaning against the door frame.

  
"He deserves an interview," Burt says getting his phone out to punch the number in.

  
"Yeah, hold on it's in my wallet," Kurt replies reaching into his pockets, but not finding it. "It, must be upstairs," Kurt groans making his way back up the stairs two at a time and searching through his room. 

  
He checked his desk, drawers and all, he checked his dresser, and his nightstand, but didn't find it anywhere.

  
He must have left it at Blaine's.

  
"Shit," He whispers taking out his phone and punching in the familiar number. He put the phone up to his ear, and after a few rings his voicemail started up. He hangs up and tries again. Still no answer, so he leaves a message. "Hey Blaine, it's Kurt, give me a call, I think I forgot my wallet at your house and I need it. Maybe i'll just pick it up, okay, I'll see you later," With that Kurt hung up, but after a few minutes, he called again and got a voicemail, again.

  
His breathing hitched. He made his way back downstairs, calling his boyfriend once again, and still not getting a response.

  
He was probably overreacting, but there was something inside him telling him something was wrong. So, he calls again and again, but doesn't get an answer.

  
"Dad, I need to go check on Blaine," Kurt says entering the kitchen once again,

  
"Kurt, It's eleven thirty at night,"

  
"No, Dad, I think something's wrong, plus I left my wallet there," Kurt says slipping his phone through his fingers.

 

"He's probably just sleeping," Burt shakes his head.

  
"No, he's not answering, he always answers, even if he is sleeping, I promise, I'll be back before one," Kurt says slipping on his coat, before his dad could protest, and slipping out the door.

  
The drive to Westerville was silent, Kurt switched off the radio, and spent it calling Blaine every so often, hoping he was wrong, but he never picked up.

  
When he arrived at Blaine house, the house lights were switched off, which made Kurt believe he was just sleeping, but something inside Kurt told him no, he wasn't okay. He gets out of his Navigator knocking on the door, and after a good five minutes of waiting, there was no answer.

  
He tried the doorknob but it wouldn't turn. He curses under his breath and takes a deep breath.

  
Blaine said there was a spare key somewhere on the porch. Where? Under the mat? No. Under the potted plant? No. Under the patio chair? Yes. He takes a sigh of relief and quickly unlock the door.

  
All the lights were off in the house.

  
"Blaine?!" Kurt calls from the bottom of the stairs. No response. He makes his way up the steps, two at a time, using the bannister for help and skipping every room besides Blaine's.   
His iPod was on and playing through a speaker, the song "Say Something"

  
He probably just couldn't hear Kurt over the music. Maybe he was in the shower. He opens the half opened door all the way and turns the volume down on the speaker.

  
"Blaine?! It's me," Kurt's heart rate excels when he notices the bathroom light was on. He takes in a shaky breath and opens the door all the way.

  
He lets out a sob at the sight.

  
Blaine was passed out on the floor in front of the sink, a bloodied box cutter beside him and his a puddle of blood surrounding him.

  
Kurt is instantly on his knees and cradling his head in his lap.

  
"God, Blaine," Kurt sobs reaching into drawers for something to stop the blood, things like toothpaste and combs were tossed around until he opened the cabinet that had hand towels in it. He presses them against his bleeding wrist, while sobs escaped his lips and tears streamed down his cheeks. He slips his phone out of his pocket and dials '911'.

  
"911, what's your emergency?" A friendly sounding woman asks over the other line.

  
"My boyfriend, he slit his wrists," Another sob, "He's bleeding, there's so much blood," Kurt sobs.

  
"Sir, where are you?"

  
"In his bathroom," He quickly rambled off the address, through his shaking lips. "Send help, quick," Kurt pleads.

  
"Sir, what's your name?"

  
"Kurt, Kurt Hummel," Kurt manages brushing Blaine's crusted hair from his pale face.

  
"Okay Kurt, press something against his wounds to lessen the bleeding," She orders.

  
"I did that, send someone, please, he's dying," Kurt begs holding Blaine his lap tightly.

  
"Someone is on their way, just hang tight," She instructs. Kurt nods before she hung up and so did he.

  
"Blaine, what were you thinking?" Kurt sobs holding the reddening towels against his wrists. "You can't leave me, not until we're old and dying, together," Kurt sobs pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I'm so sorry baby, we're gonna get you help, you're gonna be okay, you have to be," Kurt whispers against his forehead.

  
Within twenty minutes, that seemed like an hour, a team of EMT's were in Blaine's bathroom and shooing Kurt out of the way. Kurt stood behind them, watching them work and move him to a gurney. Kurt holds his shaking hand to his mouth as sobs escape his lips. When they move him out and into an ambulance, Kurt goes to get in his car but a young man, wearing an EMT uniform stops him.

  
"Is there someone you can call to come get you?" He asks putting a hand on Kurt's shoulder, "I don't think that driving is a good idea," At this moment they were just getting Blaine into an ambulance.

 

"I don't wanna leave him, I can't wait that long," Kurt whispers, choking back a sob.

  
"Okay, then come on, you can ride with him," He ushers Kurt into the back of the ambulance with him at the head of him while they worked on him. They were giving him oxygen through a bag and had an IV drip going.

  
Kurt was still crying but he was brushing Blaine's hair with his fingers, worry and pain in his eyes.

  
They arrived at the hospital within a half hour, and left Kurt alone in the waiting room. He sat himself down in one of the chairs. He looks down at his hands, and noticed they were covered in Blaine's blood, and so were his pants and shirt.

  
At the thought and image of Blaine looking like that again, tears started pouring down his cheeks and he let out a few sobs. He hides his face in his hands while he cried until his phone ringing stopped him.

  
He practically jumps out of his skin. Kurt takes a deep breath and sees it was his dad.

  
"Hello?" he answers with shaking fingers.

  
"Kurt? Where the hell are you?" Burt asks, he could tell anger was evident. "Are you with Blaine?"

  
At the mention of his name, Kurt broke down again, sobbing.

  
"Kurt? Where are you?" Burt's tone softens.

  
"THe hospital, St. Mary's," Kurt manages. With that Burt hung up, leaving Kurt alone again. He stood up and started pacing. He was getting weird looks from nurses, and other people in the ER but he didn't really care, because he didn't know how Blaine was and that was all that mattered.

  
"Kurt?"   
At the sou

nd of his name, Kurt turned around and practically fell into his father's arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

  
"Hey, it's okay, Kurt, everything's gonna be just fine," Burt comforts, rubbing his back lovingly. Kurt nods into his coat, gripping at the material. The stayed like that for a few minutes until Kurt released his dad.

  
"Kurt, what happened? Why are you covered in blood?"

  
Kurt took a deep breath, before responding. "Blaine tried to kill himself, or did kill himself, I don't know anything," Kurt replies softly.

  
At that moment he realized Finn and Carole were standing behind his father, worried looks on their faces.

  
"Hey, Blaine is a tough kid, he's gonna be just fine, I know he is," Burt comforts his son, wrapping him in another hug. "I'll go get you a glass of water," Burt offers, "Sit,"

  
Kurt nods, sitting down in one of the uncomfortable chairs and wiping away his tears.

  
Burt soon returns with a small dixie cup full of water. Kurt drinks it, his lips and hands shaking.

  
An hour later, they were still waiting for any news and had received none. Burt had called his parents and his mom was on her way from California and his dad was catching a flight the next morning from London. Cooper was even notified and was on his way as well from Los Angeles.

  
"I was hard on him," Finn whispers from next to Kurt,

  
"What?" Kurt turns to his step-brother in confusion.

  
"I always gave him a hard time, and was such a dick to him, and now he's in the hospital, dying," Finn shakes his head and Kurt holds back a sob. Dying, what a word. He couldn't even imagine a world without Blaine, he didn't even want to think about it.

  
"Stop, Blaine isn't dying, he's gonna be okay, right?" Kurt whispers the last word. Tears were falling down his cheeks again.

  
"God, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-" Finn stops himself and instead just wraps his arms around his sobbing brother. "It's gonna be fine,"

  
"Kurt, I have some clothes for you," Carole entered the hospital again carrying a stack of fresh clothes to replace the bloody ones. Kurt releases his brother and stands taking the stack and heading to the bathroom.

  
He stands at the sink using soap to get the blood off og his arms.

  
What if this was all that's left of him? And Kurt is just rubbing it off, like it's nothing. At the thought Kurt's breath hitches in his throat.

  
"He's gonna be okay," Kurt tells himself continuing to rub the blood off of his forearms. When it's all gone from under his nails and gone from his skin, he changes into the pair of skinny jeans and black polo. He changes his shoes into a pair of black boots and stuffs the dirty clothes into the bag Carole had left with him.

  
When he returns to the waiting room Burt was talking to a doctor.

  
"I'm sorry, I can only tell information to family," The doctor shakes his head.

  
"No, you have to tell me, I found him, I'm his boyfriend, please, just tell me he's okay, let me see him," Kurt orders rushing over to the crowd of people. The elder doctor sighs and shifts his weight from one foot to the others. "Don't believe me, I have the bloody clothes to prove it," Kurt sniffles holding the bag up as an example. The bald man, shakes his head but sighs heavily.

  
"Blaine is alive, he's under 72 hour suicide watch, he had to have over two hundred stitches, he had a small bruise on the back of his head, which I am guessing from when he hit his head against the tile floor, but he is alive but unconscious. he does have some tendon damage which, could take from a month to a year to heal completely, or may not heal at all," He explains to Kurt.

  
"Let me see him," It wasn't a question it was a command, Blaine was Kurt's boyfriend, his one and only, and he needed see him. The doctor looks to Kurt's family who nod.   
"Alright," He says, "Follow me," He adds leading Kurt down a long hallway and to a room with the number 35A on the front. He clears the way for him and Kurt enters the room, the sight catching him off guard.

  
His arms were tied down with brown, leather straps and his wrists and forearms were bandaged. He was pale but was sleeping, soundly.

  
Kurt enters the room sitting in a nearby chair and brushing hair from his eyes.

  
"B, what were you thinking?" Kurt sniffles pressing a kiss to his forehead, at this point it was just the two of them. "You can't leave me, we're gonna get married, and have kids and move to New York together, be on Broadway, you can't just leave me like this, Blaine," Kurt sobs rubbing his temple with his thumb carefully. "Thank God you're okay," Kurt says wiping away his tears with the back of his hand, "I was scared that I lost you, I can't lose you, I don't know what I would do without you, B," Kurt whispers against his hair. "I love you so much," Kurt lays his head against the bed running his thumb across Blaine's chest.

  
Within an hour, he falls asleep like that, but is awaken to thrashing against the bed. Kurt is automatically awake to see Blaine attempting to sit up and moving his arms in confusion but stopping when he realizes how painful it was.

  
"Hey, sweetheart, it's okay," Kurt comforts. He sees the sheer panic in his eyes. He runs his thumb across Blaine's jaw line. "You're alright, baby," Kurt repeats, tears gathering in his eyes once again.

  
Blaine's facial expression softens to tears and sobs. He goes to bring his hands up to his face but can't. Kurt presses a kiss to his temple and holds him as best as he can with the straps.

 

  
"You're alright, you're okay, B," Kurt consoles. He lets Blaine go once he calms down the slightest bit.

  
"I'm not suppose to be here," Blaine sniffles. Kurt's heart practically stops,

  
"Yeah, you are, you're suppose to be right here, with me, you'll always be with me alright? Where else would you be?"

  
"Dead,"

  
"No, don't say that, I'm just so glad that I found you-"

  
"What? You-You found me?" Blaine's breathing picks up.

  
"Yeah," Kurt nods, tears gathering in his eyes.

  
"No, it was suppose to be anyone but you, you were suppose to find out the next day, when my mom got home and- and-"

  
"Blaine, calm down, I know what you wanted, but Blaine, I'm so glad you didn't get your way, because I wouldn't be able to be here without you here, alright baby, we're gonna do so many great things together and I don't wanna do any of it without you, we can talk about this, later, not right now, you already, have something else to worry about, getting better okay?" Kurt explains, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

  
Blaine nods and takes a deep breath. Kurt wipes away Blaine's tears with the pad of his thumb. "Go back to sleep, I'll be right here when you wake up okay?"

  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Within a day almost the entire school knew what happened with Blaine, Kurt didn't go to school that day and spent it with Blaine. He was there when he got the straps taken off of his wrists and when they had changed his bandages. His dark red stained ones were switched with nice, clean, white ones.

  
Blaine was ashamed to say the least. He wasn't suppose to live, he was suppose to never wake up, he was suppose to be found by his mom the next day and everything would have been fine, for him, but now he has to deal with being treated different and seeing a therapist and it scared Blaine shitless.

  
"What?" Blaine looks over to Kurt, turning his attentions from his phone. Kurt had set his on his lap to stare at Blaine.

  
"Nothing, I just-" He takes a deep breath, "I'm just so glad you're here," Kurt's smile disappears, so does Blaine's. Blaine looks down at the hospital sheets and nods.

  
"I know," Blaine replies looking back to Kurt and managing a small, sympathetic smile. Kurt stands, leaning over and capturing Blaine's lips in a long kiss.

  
A knock on the door frame broke them up. They both look over to the door to see Sam, Rachel, Finn, and Tina standing in the doorway. Rachel had a bouquet of flowers in her hand.

  
Blaine's smile instantly fades once again, and he finds interest in the sheets once again.

  
"Hey," Rachel whispers walking to the nightstand to place the flowers down on the table.

  
"They're pretty," Blaine says after a long silence, he doesn't look up to his classmates, he just continues to pick at the white sheet, removing all fuzzies from it with his fingertips.

  
"Yeah, Tina picked them out," Rachel says softly, crossing her arms over her chest and shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

  
Blaine finally looks up and notices Finn staring at his bandages. He knew it wasn't on purpose, and he didn't mean it, but he hid his hands under the sheet anyways, folding them as best he could in his lap. Kurt glared at him, noticing the exchange between the two.

  
"How, uh, how was Glee?" Blaine says making conversation as best he could.

  
"Stop," Sam shakes his head at his friend. Everyone turns to him. Kurt looked like he was going to throat punch him, right then and there. "Stop with the small talk, like everything is fine, and normal, because it's not, and it probably won't be for awhile. Blaine, are you okay?"

  
Kurt's face expression softens. Blaine looks back down and gives him a nod.

  
"Yeah, I'll be fine," He says after a long pause. Sam nods. They all knew Blaine wasn't okay, how could you be after something like that, but Sam seemed satisfyed with the answer.

  
"Good, I'm always here, Buddy," Sam gives his friend a small smile. Blaine nods again. Kurt gives him a small smile and runs his hand across Blaine's calf comfortingly. It relieved a tension in both of their shoulders.

 

"This week is about you," Tina chimes in.

  
"What?" Blaine snaps his head up to look at her.

  
"Mr.Schue, he heard about what happened and now in Glee, we're doing a week dedicated to you," Tina looks to the other three who nod in agreement, confirming that was the subject this week is, 'Blaine'. "Like I did 'Last Friday Night' with Artie," Tina says with a small smile.

  
Blaine's lips curl into a small smile as well, which of course is contagious to Kurt. Kurt can't help but reach over and take Blaine's arm and rubbing it with his thumb, cautious of his bandages.

  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Blaine sits up with a jolt. His room was dark and he was alone; he was sweating profusley and his head was pounding, the images from his nightmare, passing through his brain. Blaine closes his eyes, laying his head back down on the pillow and bringing the sheets up to his chin. He looks to his phone sitting on the nightstand beside him.  
He wanted to text Kurt, he would get it in the morning, but at least he could get it out, but he didn't want to bother Kurt.

  
But Kurt did say that he could call anytime, day or night.

  
He sighs in defeat, sitting up once again and taking his phone his hands he uses his left thumb to type in his passcode, opening up his exchanged texts with Kurt in the last few days.

  
Of course the last thing sent to his boyfriend was an "I love you too," with a heart beside it. This brings a small smile to Blaine's lips. He presses the keyboard starting to type in a message but stops, when he has trouble with his right thumb. Blaine rolls his eyes, this tendon damage was going to kill him. He tries again but to no avail. He groans laying his phone between his legs.

  
He'll see him tomorrow, he was sure of it. He really wanted to hear his voice though, desperately. He lets out a heavy sigh and taking his phone in his hand again, using his forefinger to navigate to Kurt's contact information. His finger hovers over the green call button.

  
It was three in the morning, he was going to school tomorrow, he really shouldn't call. He goes home tomorrow, he was sure Kurt would stop by. What if he doesn't though?   
In defeat Blaine hits the call button and holds the phone up to his ear. It takes a few rings but soon Kurt's voice is filling his ear. Blaine's lips curl into a smile.  
"Hello?" Kurt asks groggily.

  
"Hey, I know I woke you up, but I just wanted someone to talk to," Blaine says simply, picking at the tiny fuzzies on the cloth.

  
"Okay, what'd you wanna talk about, B?" Kurt says, his voice gave away his smile, which made Blaine relax. He lays down on his side, pulling the sheets up to his chin, the phone still next to his ear.

  
"I had a nightmare," Blaine whispers, his smile fading.

  
"About what, are you alright?" Kurt replies, worry filling his light voice.

  
"Yeah, it's just, I had a nightmare, where when you came to visit me in the hospital, you left me, you said I had too many problems and you couldn't handle them," Blaine says tears gathering in his eyes at just the thought of it happening.

  
"Oh Blaine, I could never leave you, ever, I love you way too much. I know that you're struggling, but it's nothing we can't handle, together," Kurt replies with a sniffle. "It was just a dream, and that's all it ever will be. I can't even imagine living life anymore without you B,"

  
"I love you so much Kurt," Blaine admits wiping at his eyes with the heel of his hands.

  
"I love you too, Blaine," Kurt chuckles. When Kurt laughed Blaine couldn't but smile and do the same. Kurt just had that effect of Blaine.

  
"You're gonna be okay, I promise you will be, because we're gonna get through this together,"

  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
Within two days, one being spent in the hospital and the other at home, Blaine's 72 hour suicide watch was over and he was able to go back to school.

  
"Are you gonna be alright?" Kurt asks parking the car and switching it off. Blaine nods with a gulp. "Blaine," Kurt warns, putting a hand over Blaine's.

  
"I'll be okay," Blaine promises, "Just worried is all," Blaine replies leaning over to press a kiss to Kurt's lips.

  
"Okay, I'll always be here, baby," Kurt whispers pressing his forehead against Blaine's. A small smile spreads across Blaine's face and he pecks at his boyfriend's lips. "I love you,"  
"I love you too, now come on, we're gonna be late," Blaine chuckles pecking Kurt's lips once more before they got out and met at the front of Kurt's Navigator. Kurt wraps a protective hand around Blaine's waist, rubbing at his side with his thumb affectionately.

  
The closer they got to the door the heavier Blaine's breathing was getting.

  
Kurt opened the door and Blaine swears his heart stopped. They started for their lockers and Blaine saw when the football players stopped joking around and turned to stare at the pair, and when his Algebra teacher practically stopped to gawk at him with surprise.

  
Did everyone know? How did they hear? Who told them?

  
"Blaine, you're gonna be just fine," Kurt comforts, snapping Blaine from his thoughts and back to reality, Kurt leans over pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. Blaine nods stopping when they got to his locker. "You know where to find me, I'll see you next hour, okay?" Kurt says, Blaine nods was a small smile on his face.

  
"Okay,"

  
As soon as Kurt turns to leave Jacob Ben Israel came up to Blaine.

 

"You're back so soon?" The nosey boy asks, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose.

  
"Yeah, I-I guess," Blaine replied clutching at his bag strap.

  
"How long were you dead for?"

  
"Leave," Kurt orders, Blaine caught off guard by Ben's question. The strange boy doesn't know what to do at Kurt's sudden authority. "I said, leave before I shove the microphone so far up your ass it comes out your throat," Kurt replies, with a small, sassy smile on his face. Ben turns and starts to leave looking back at the couple.

  
"You're so cute when you get all sassy," Blaine chuckles pressing a kiss to Kurt's lips.

  
"I know," Kurt teases. Blaine teasingly shakes his head and starts to do his combination, but stops when he can't get his thumb and forefinger that close together. Kurt sees his struggle and helps him out. Blaine's smiles fades and he rolls his eyes at himself. "Hey, you're gonna be okay, remember?" Kurt promises making Blaine look to him. Blaine nods. "I love you,"

  
"I love you," Blaine replies simply.

 

"Good," Kurt chuckles lightly, turning to leave for his locker.

  
Blaine had trouble with getting a pencil back in his hand and actually writing with it, and he had problems, when people watched him, like he was going to rip up his sleeves and tear off his bandages, and rip out his stitches right there in the hallway, but he tried to ignore them, and he knew that he was gonna be okay when he got to Glee.   
He was hoping, they were going to pretend nothing happened, and he knew that they were going to be cool with him, not stare at him, or make him feel like an alien.   
When that time finally got there, he found Kurt in the hall and they walked to the choir room together.

 

He was surprised when as soon as he walked in, everyone stopped their conversations and looked at him, gripping at Kurt's hand.

  
"Close your mouths, you'll catch flies," Kurt warns with the roll of the eyes. Blaine gulps, he was wrong, they were going to treat him differently.

  
He wanted to go back to talking with Mike about X-Men and arguing with Sam about who was going to win the Superbowl this year, but he doesn't see that happening anytime soon. So, he just took his seat, next to Kurt and dealt with it.

  
When Mr. Schue walked in he stopped in his tracks to see Blaine sitting beside Kurt, gripping at his arm, desperate for support. His choir teacher's face erupts in a smile and he starts to the front of the room.

  
"So, as you guys have probably already seen,but Blaine Warbler is back with us!" He smiles using his hand to show him off.

  
Blaine smiles, his grip loosening on Kurt's arm.

  
Everyone looks up to him, but at first they don't know what to do, and just stare, but Sam starts them with a light clap, which soon catches on.

  
"You're back from the dead!" Brittany smiles up to him. Blaine nods a little, his smile not leaving completely but smaller than it was.

  
"Yeah, I guess I am," Blaine replies simply, scratching the back of his neck. His long sleeve sweater rises up on his arm, revealing to bandage that had a tiny blood stain on it. Blaine automatically lowers his hand, sticking it in his lap and pulling his sleeve down. Everyone looks away and Sugar even gasped at the sight. Kurt takes that hand in his own, rubbing his knuckles with his thumb. He shakes his head at Blaine, as if saying "Ignore them" and kissed his shoulder.

  
Mr. Schue clear his throat before starting to talk again. "Alright, to my understanding, Kurt is going to do a duet with Blaine, for this week's assignment. Blaine looks up to Kurt who had a smile on his face.

  
"I don't know that song," Blaine shakes his head, but Kurt pulls him up to the front anyway.

  
"Oh you, know the song, and right now, I deem it appropriate," Kurt replies, facing Blaine and taking Blaine's hands in his own.

  
As soon as the music starts, Blaine's looks up to Kurt taking a deep breath. It was their song, "Come What May"

  
Blaine clear his throat before starting his verse.

  
_"Never knew I could feel like this_   
_Like I´ve never seen the sky before_   
_I want to vanish inside your kiss_   
_Every day I´m loving you more and more_   
_Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings_   
_Telling me to give you everything_   
_Seasons may change, winter to spring_   
_But I love you until the end of time_   
_Come what may, Come what may_   
_I will love you, until my dying day"_

  
A small smile grows on Kurt's face, a smile of admiration and adoration, he sucks in a breath before joining him for the chorus.

  
_Suddenly the world_   
_Seems SUCH a perfect place_   
_Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace_   
_Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste_   
_It all revolves around you_

_And there's no mountain too high_   
_No river too wide_   
_Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side_   
_Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide_

  
This was always their song, no one else's, their's and now it brought back so many memories for Blaine, the song was bittersweet, but Kurt didn't know it. Tears gather in Blaine's eyes at the thought. It brought back the images of Kurt finding Blaine, dying and bleeding, and killed Blaine to think about it.

  
Kurt looks to Blaine confused, Blaine had never cried like this in front of so many people, and definitely not to this song. This song used to make Blaine smile and feel happy again.

  
Blaine falls into Kurt's arms, not able to finish the song. Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine and rubs his back soothingly.

  
"B? What's wrong?" Kurt asks panic in his eyes. Sam goes to get up to comfort his best friend but Mr. Schue stops him, letting the two have their moment. Kurt takes Blaine's chin in his finger tips, making him look into Kurt's eyes. "Blaine?" He wipes his tears away from his eye and off of his olive cheeks. Blaine's hazel eyes meets Kurt's ocean blue ones, full of worry and concern.

  
"I did it to this song," Blaine admits with a sob.

 


End file.
